Therapy is Hard!
I recently had a conversation with a client. As we were discussing the progress she had made she mentioned she had wanted to quit several times because the process was so hard.
I chuckled and reminded her that I
had warned her in the first session. She acknowledged that her expectations were she would be 100% better in just year. I laughed again.
By the time most people come to therapy, they are well into their 20's or 30's. We don't accumulate trauma and baggage over night, but for some reason clients believe they can heal and move on in 8 sessions or less. If it were that easy, I would have to find a new job.
In the first couple of sessions I tell all my clients this is going to be work. The analogy I use is "digging a canyon with a spoon". I ask for a commitment to practice daily. Yet, people are surprised at how much effort they really have to give.
Let me give it to you straight; if you are a human with emotions and you desire to figure those emotions out, it's going to take daily work. You will trip and fall on your face. You will feel like you are trudging through mud and walking up hill most days. You will feel successful sometimes, but most of the time you will feel like a toddler learning to walk. There will be days when your motivation has tanked and you just want to say "F**k it!"
If that sounds like a journey you want to embark on, then you are ready for therapy. The question truly becomes, does that sound any more difficult or worse than how you currently feel and function? What do you have to lose? Old toxic traits and unhelpful defense mechanisms? You just might learn something about yourself and gain a couple helpful skills in the process.
Buckle up Buttercup!