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The Holidays Suck!!

  • Writer: Rikki Davlin
    Rikki Davlin
  • Dec 16, 2025
  • 2 min read

Not everyone loves the holidays. Over the years I have worked with people who have experienced a lot of trauma around the holidays. Deaths in the family or beloved pets. Divorces happen or other types of sad events occur around this time of year. It can be difficult to feel joy when those painful memories surface.


However, it is possible to feel both things. We as humans are wired to have emotions, all of the emotions. Here are some ways you can make space for all the emotions that might bubble up during this time of year.


  1. Be intentional about honoring your loved ones who are no longer around. It can be difficult to bring those memories up, but when we try to shove them away it can be even more painful. So, if the memories are going to show up anyway, why not look at them with intention. Have a small ceremony to honor your loved one. Play a song they used to love, back their favorite dessert. Just do something that allows you to honor their memory in a way that feels comfortable to you.

  2. Set a timer to grieve. We can't always choose when our emotions surface. Sometimes they come up in the middle of a work meeting and we have to step out and that is ok. But we can set aside time each day or week when we allow ourselves to open that box of emotion and feel all the things. That way we don't get stuck wallowing. Once the time is up, you can put those memories back in the box on the shelf until you feel strong enough to open it again.

  3. Connect with the living. Don't forget you have support and connection around you currently. Connect with those who lift you up and fill your bucket.


Although this time of year can be difficult, it is within our control to focus on the people and things in our life that bring us gratitude and fulfillment. That being said, if you don't have the emotional space or strength to navigate those feelings this year, you don't have to force it. Have grace and compassion for yourself, cuddle up in a blanket and put on a movie.


For now, Happy Holidays and peace in the New Year!



 
 
 

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